Book Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died

I’m Glad My Mom Died, by Jennette McCurdy

I had never heard of Jennette McCurdy, but apparently she began her child acting career in the early 2000s, and is best known as the star of a Nickelodeon TV show.  Now, I’m of the generation that watched Nick at Nite, back when it aired reruns of Leave It To Beaver, Mr. Ed, and the Donna Reed Show.  I didn’t really watch later on when they were doing their own original programming, nor did I have children who would have watched.  So I (breathes a sigh of relief) stayed blissfully in the dark.

 

Unfortunately, since the dawn of Hollywood time, there have been child stars abused by studio executives, producers, directors and worst of all, their parents.  It seems to come with the territory, the parents who will stop at nothing to make their child a star.  Jennette’s mother was one of those…

Jennette grew up with an intact family, but sadly, her dad was kind of useless, and he never stood up to her mother against the inappropriate things that were going on.  She was also home schooled, so outside her nuclear family, Jennette never really had any adults looking out for her best interest.  So, from the age of six, Jennette was pushed into an acting career, with endless lessons in acting, singing and dancing, and auditions for shows.  When she finally broke through, Jennette became the breadwinner for the family, her parents, two brothers and grandparents. 

Jennette’s mother had clear expectations for her and her career, and her treatment of Jennette was abusive.  Not only the long hours on set…  Her mother taught her at the age of eleven how to calorie restrict, so she could stay thin for the camera.  Imagine a mother teaching her own daughter how to be anorexic? Imagine parents expecting their child to pay for their bills, their mortgage, their vehicles, and their groceries.  And even worse, her mother bathed her until we was almost an adult, claiming that Jennette couldn’t be trusted to wash her hair correctly.  During these shower sessions, her mother subjected her to bizarre bodily exams, telling her she was performing cancer screenings.  Jennette grew up with this being “normal.” 

When Jennette was a young adult, her mother’s breast cancer returned and she passed away.  The narcissistic, selfish, abusive matriarch of the family was finally gone.  Years of therapy has helped Jennette come to terms with the mother that she loved, and the mother who also abused her.  The book is a raw, tragic look at the impacts of the abuse, and Jennette’s lack of ability to live a normal life.  She continues to be controlled by bulimia and other impulsive behaviors.  She tells her story candidly, although she has said how difficult it was to tell her story.

What a heartbreaking story, and how terrible to grow up in a family where the death of your own mother is a relief.

3 stars. 

Note: Quiet on Set is a five part documentary released in 2024 that explores allegations of abuse of other child actors at Nickelodeon.  I have not seen it, but I’ve heard it is very good (and by good I mean disturbing).  Although she doesn’t speak much of Nickelodeon directly, some of Jennette’s comments in this book are widely believed to be about Dan Schneider, the abuser named in the documentary. 

 

Book Review: Never Play Dead

Never Play Dead: How the Truth Makes You Unstoppable, by Tomi Lahren

Tomi Lahren is admittedly a polarizing public figure.  She’s an unapologetic conservative in a world where conservative voices are often villainized.  That said, this book really isn’t about her political views, although many of the reviews read like it is (they also read like reviews where the reviewer didn’t actually read the book).

Never Play Dead is a memoir of sorts from a young woman who has risen to be a celebrity for her political commentary.  She is only 31 now, and wrote this book in 2019.  In her young life, she has achieved a lot, starting out at the conservative upstart One American News Network, then moving to The Blaze and finally to Fox News. 

She tells the story of her childhood and how she decided from an early age that she wanted to speak and write on politics. She didn’t come from a prosperous family, and had to work hard to make it through college and land her first post-college job.  And she loudly and proudly supports the idea of working hard to get where you want to be; make no mistake, she does not appreciate lazy people. 

She tells about how her comments on The View, saying she is pro-choice, led to the suspension of her show on The Blaze.  Glenn Beck was furious that she would go against the conservative message by admitting that although she doesn’t support abortion for herself, she still feels that women should have a choice.  After the suspension (with pay even), she sued Glenn Beck and The Blaze in order to be let out of her contract so she could continue speaking out on politics and current events.  At the age of 26, it was a David and Goliath story, but she managed to get a settlement that allowed her out of her contract, and allowed her to retain ownership of any of her commentary that wasn’t associated with The Blaze. 

That experience led her to Fox News, where she continues to speak and make waves.  She will be the first to tell you that she is not an unbiased journalist, but that she is a political commentator.  And that honesty is refreshing in a world where most news anchors claim to be neutral and clearly are not. 

Most of this book speaks to women, but men wouldn’t do too badly hearing her message as well.  It is about standing up for yourself, and being willing to fight for what you believe in.  She admits it isn’t easy, but that is does get easier with practice.  As someone who quit my most recent job because I could not support the unethical actions of the leadership of the organization, this resonated with me.

And it isn’t just her professional life that she speaks to.  Tomi was involved in an emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship, one that she wishes now she had the courage to end long before she did.  She talks about how it isn’t always easy to do what is right for you, but staying in a situation that isn’t healthy won’t do you any good either.

And lastly, but perhaps most importantly, she speaks about today’s reality where people are shouted down or silenced or canceled for their views on the issues facing this nation.  It is a sad reality that we are no longer able to have a civil discourse on issues that we disagree on.  She discusses having friends who are only willing to be her friends in private, or the mistreatment she receives when out in public by people who disagree with her.  To be clear, she doesn’t apologize for her opinion, but she says that she is always willing to have an honest conversation with someone with opposing views, and she has found that most times people aren’t even willing to have that discussion.  Which is sad, because in order to truly be able to resolve conflict and come to a compromise or consensus, you have to be willing to at least listen to another’s point of view.  And that is lacking in the world today.

Yes, she does at times in the book criticize others in the book, but for the most part she does it in a respectful way.  And that’s kind of the point. Turning the other cheek to her doesn’t mean never responding to the attacks she receives.  She doesn’t argue that you should never criticize; but that the vitriol and name calling needs to stop.  She even goes to far as to describe things she has said in the past, and to acknowledge that she was wrong to say it.

So whether you like Tomi Lahren or don’t, agree with her or not, she still has a message that is important for people to hear.

3 stars.

Book Review: Two in the Far North

Two in the Far North, by Margaret Murie

A friend recommended this book to me – as someone who loves the outdoors, and as a woman who appreciates a good adventure, my friend thought I would enjoy it.  And I did.  I had never heard of the author, and now having read it, I wish someone had told me about her long ago.

This autobiography/memoir is the story of Margaret Murie, a woman who came of age in Alaska in the 1910s and 1920s.  She married wildlife biologist Olaus Marie in 1924, and accompanied him on several trips into the wilderness of Alaska during their marriage, where she made a life for herself as a naturalist, conservationist and writer.

Two in the Far North tells of Murie’s childhood in Alaska, her marriage to Olaus, and the adventures of their trips into the wilderness.  As a woman, it was nearly unheard of for her to join her husband on his expeditions, and even more so for her to participate in his hikes and gathering of specimens.  Her honeymoon was spent on a dogsled expedition in the dead of winter, to places where women seldom ventured.

Later, she even chose to join her husband on a wilderness expedition with their infant son, building a box for him in the boat they traveled in, and draping it with mosquito netting to try to keep the insects away.  After their three children were grown, she was still hiking the tundra wilderness of Alaska with Olaus, after having been flown in my bush plane to a remote lakeside camp. 

She was a remarkable woman.  Her prose is succinct and matter of fact, describing the scenery, and the Native Alaskans with both a precise, unemotional style, while at the same time reminiscing about a wild Alaska that was changing considerably by the time she wrote this memoir in the late 1950s.  The edition I read had been updated with more recent stories of her life in Wyoming, her grief after Olaus died, and her work preserving the wild places in Alaska for future generations.

Margaret Murie lived to be 101 years old, and died in 2003.  She left an impressive legacy, having spoken up for conservation in a time when few did, particularly women.  She won the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her work, and should be a household name for young girls who need strong, intelligent female role models.

4 stars.

Book Review: Immovable Feast

Immovable Feast: A Paris Christmas, by John Baxter

I went to the library to sign up for a new library card, and then of course perused the shelves to see what looked interesting.  I was drawn to this book for its title; if you know you know.  A Moveable Feast was the title of a book by Ernest Hemingway, about his time living in Paris in the 1920s. 

John Baxter is an expat Australian, living in France with his Parisian wife.  And along the way, he became the one responsible for cooking the Christmas dinner for his French extended family.  He has no formal cooking experience, just an interest and a curiosity about trying new things.

The book is about the Christmas traditions of the French, along with the experience Baxter has in planning and executing the seven course Christmas dinner.  From the appetizer to the suckling pig, to the cheese course and the dessert.  And of course, the wine. 

Baxter takes a simple subject and draws his reader in to the culinary culture of France, and his experience as an outsider being accepted into a Parisian family.  A funny, charming read. 

4 stars.

Book Review: Lucky

Lucky, by Alice Sebold

Years ago, I read The Lovely Bones, a novel by Alice Sebold about the rape and murder of a teenage girl.  The writing was powerful and compelling, and when I learned that Sebold had written a memoir about her own rape, I purchased it.  Of course, as is typical for me, it has been sitting on the to-be-read shelf for years until recently when I pulled it out and gave it a read.  I’ve been trying to go through some of the books that have been waiting for a long time…

Sebold’s writing in this memoir is powerful and compelling, and she writes with a rawness about her experience.  She was brutally raped and beaten in a tunnel in a city park, followed and attacked as she was walking home from a frat party after midnight during her freshman year of college in 1981 at Syracuse University.  The police said she was “lucky” to have not been murdered.  Five months later she sees her rapist on the street, contacts the police, and he is caught and convicted. 

This memoir tells the story of her attack and rape, her process of healing and coming to terms with it for years afterward, and the subsequent capture and trial of the rapist.  She testified in the trial after he was caught, and based on her testimony and hair analysis, the prosecutor successfully convicted him.  The story is true, and she tells it in graphic detail; a purge of the feelings that she must have held in for years after the attack.  Her descriptions are hard to read, and she makes it easy to identify with the horrific experience of her attack.

In fact, there’s only one problem with this story, and it is a huge problem.  Ms. Sebold identified the wrong man.  When she was brought in for the lineup, she chose the wrong man.  Yet, they tried and convicted him anyway.  That is how good she was at telling her story.  And that wrong man spent 16 years in prison for a rape he didn’t commit.  He was released from prison in 1998, and finally exonerated based on a reexamination of the evidence in 2021.

When he was exonerated, she “apologized” for his wrongful conviction, but in reading her statement, one sees a half-assed apology.  One where she says she’s sorry for what happened to him, but she does not apologize for her role in it.  In fact, she basically blames the criminal justice system and does not own up to her part of the inaccurate identification of an innocent man.  And that’s where this story falls short for me.  Lucky sold over a million copies and launched Ms. Sebold’s career.  She made a lot of money off this man’s misfortune.  Her publisher has now ceased distribution of the book, pending consideration of “how the work might be revised.”  But is that enough?  Does she owe a debt to the man she helped put in prison?  His life was destroyed as a result of her testimony.  And while I can identify with the trauma she went through, what is the appropriate way to move forward?

I will say one thing; this novel really does make one think, but I can’t recommend purchasing any lingering copies on the market. 

2 stars. 

Book Review: A Good Dog

A Good Dog: The Story of Orson, Who Changed My Life, by Jon Katz

A few years ago, I picked up this book at the local library book sale, on $4 per bag day.  Just so you know, you get to fill up a whole paper grocery bag on $4 per bag day, so it’s a pretty good deal.  Walking home with all of your finds is more challenging…  Of course, that’s all on hold during COVID…

Jon Katz had long owned Labradors, but into his life came a Border Collie who needed a good home.  Orson had issues.  Orson needed someone to help him through those and Jon stepped up to the plate.  But he underestimated Orson’s level of neurosis…

A Good Dog explores the relationship between people and their pets, and the lengths we go to in order to provide the best possible home and lived experience.  Those of us that love our animals struggle with how to best give them what they need in a world where they can’t communicate directly with us.  How do we determine what will be the best for our pet?  Are they hurting, are they happy, are we doing right by them?

Katz is open and honest about his love for for Orson, and his struggles with this troubled dog.  His writing will leave you understanding the depth of his desire to give Orson a good life, and break your heart…

3 stars.

Book Review: The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo

The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo, by Amy Schumer, wasn’t a book I set out to read.  But it was available in audiobook format on an evening I went looking on the library website for books for my commute.  So there you go…

Amy Schumer is a comedian and actress, who is known for letting it all hang out.  She will say what’s on her mind, in excruciating detail.  She is crass, inappropriate and often laugh out loud funny.  But she certainly has a style that isn’t for everyone.  I’ve known about her for a while, but I’m not really into comedy or slapstick type movies, so I must say, I haven’t seen much of her comedy.

In her memoir, she once again lays it all out there, from her upbringing with dysfunctional parents, her self-esteem issues and what it is like to be a female comedian in an industry still largely dominated by men.  She talks about her career and how she got to where she is, from her teenage job as a summer camp caregiver, to waitressing, to being a pedicab operator in a hilly city…  With all of it, there is a copious amount of drinking!  She talks about dating, being an introvert, learning to accept yourself, and a host of other topics that women everywhere deal with, although perhaps not with as many f-bombs or vagina references.

The book has points where I was laughing in the car, and other sections where I was fighting back tears on my drive to work.  You might not appreciate her style, but she definitely has something to say.

3 stars. 

Book Review: Never Call Me a Hero

Never Call Me a Hero: A Legendary American Dive-Bomber Pilot Remembers the Battle of Midway, by N. Jack “Dusty” Kleiss, and Timothy and Laura Orr

What can you say about this man, other than the fact that he is, indeed, a hero? Born Norman Kleiss, he went by Jack, until a mistake on a Hawaiian airfield earned him the nickname Dusty for the rest of his time in the service.

Jack Kleiss wanted to be an aviator early on and set his goal toward getting into the US Naval Academy. He then had the opportunity to attend flight school, where he was trained as a fighter pilot. The United States declaration of war after Pearl Harbor led to his being stationed on a naval aircraft carrier.

Kleiss’ most significant combat operation in the war was as a participant in the Battle of Midway, a battle between the US and Japanese naval forces. Three US and four Japanese aircraft carriers were involved, as well as numerous heavy and light cruisers and destroyers on both fleets. The US was still reeling from the attack on Pearl Harbor but was able to strike a decisive blow to the Japanese fleet. In all the Japanese lost all four of their aircraft carriers and a heavy cruiser, with another heavy cruiser sustaining damage. Over 3,000 Japanese sailors and aircrew lost their lives.

Kleiss’ book is written with the humble style so common among World War II veterans, the characteristic, “I was just doing my job,” deflections when someone points out the significance of the sacrifice he made for our country. He says a number of times that his fallen comrades are the real heroes, the men who were shot down as they bombed their targets, or worse, ran out of gas on their flight back to their carrier, because they were sent out knowing there wouldn’t be enough fuel for the return trip. And those men are truly heroes, but that doesn’t make Jack less so.

This poignant memoir relates his tale of the Battle of Midway, but also his long marriage to his wife Jean and his family, which he considers his real accomplishment. His simple style is relatable and easy to read, and he is honest enough to share his failings, as well as his frustrations with his superiors and colleagues. Jack had a long career in the Navy, training pilots after Midway, then moving into the private sector for a period before retirement.

Jack Kleiss lived to be 100 years old, another memorable accomplishment, but sadly died shortly before this memoir was published. We can’t tell him now, but he really was a hero.

4 stars.

Book Review: Talking as Fast as I Can

I love Lauren Graham. I mean, not really, but figuratively… If you don’t know her, she’s an actor in one of my favorite shows ever.  I fell in love with her during her seven year run as Lorelai Gilmore in the Gilmore Girls, where she is witty, charming and funny, as she tries to have a career, family and a relationship in a world that often seems stacked against us.

Her fast talking and wit became a hallmark of the show, along with her commitment-phobia, love of coffee and a good burger, and fierce commitment to her daughter. She was a teenage mom who went from high school dropout to manager of a boutique inn, and tried to mend her fractured relationship with her parents so her daughter could have the best opportunities in life.  I was enthralled, and sad when it ended.

This book is a memoir that discusses her career and rise to fame, and focuses quite a bit on Gilmore Girls and its impact on Graham’s life. She treats it as a bit of a tell-all, although according to Graham, there isn’t a lot of gossip to be had. The actors genuinely loved and cared for one another and it showed.

She explains her early acting career, how she got the Gilmore Girls part, and even dives into her personal life to a degree.  I don’t really follow celebrities, but Graham is a woman I could see myself going camping with.  It helps that she knows her way around an REI store.

The book is funny and insightful; and basically all the things you would expect a memoir by Lauren Graham to be. Graham reads the audio book version and I think she did a great job.

4 stars.

 

Book Review: Furiously Happy

Recently I listened to the audio-book version of Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson.  Lawson, aka The Bloggess, is hilarious. She is irreverent and crass, and has a very macabre sense of humor and interests. She brings her crazy sense of humor to her readers in writings that are laugh out loud funny.

She is generally inappropriate, loves animals and her people, and has a wonderful fascination with all things weird.  She likes visiting strange roadside attractions, collects taxidermied animals and creepy dolls, and dresses up her pets.  She also drops the f-bomb a lot.  I’m pretty sure she would take photos of historic toilets.  I feel like she’s my spirit animal, doing all the things I would love to do but often don’t because I’m a rule follower, and I have a job where a modicum of professionalism is required.

This book is a memoir of her adult life and her struggles with depression and anxiety. She is candid and raw and tells the reader about times when she is tempted to self-harm, times she does not want to get out of bed, times when her mental illness tells her the most insidious negative things about herself. She decided that instead of being embarrassed or ashamed, she would use her fame to bring light to the issue.

Lawson’s style isn’t for everyone, but if you can poke fun at your own self and make light of a difficult topic, you have my vote.

4 stars.