It’s almost winter. It is rainy and windy, and hard to sleep during the storms with all the pine cones pelting the roof above me at night… My yard looks like a small hurricane blew through, and I am backlogged at least a month in getting all the debris hauled away. I am limited by the size of my yard waste toter… They empty it every other week, and I have it filled again two hours later. The yard work makes me happy, but fall is always a little much here… I might be caught up in January.
It feels dark on these shortest days of the year. I’m not imagining it; there was a newspaper article saying that a few days ago we experienced the darkest day in three years. At least the days will start getting longer again next week.
I have been writing; and am now over the 25,000 word mark. That’s a lot of words.
I have also been purging and organizing my house, doing those things one usually never has time to get to. There is still much more to be done, but I feel like I am making progress some days. My paper recycling has been full three weeks in a row. I took some things to Goodwill.
I have been scheduling maintenance. The plumber came again to fix the bathtubs; they don’t hold water and the fix he did in June didn’t work. The cable internet technician spent two hours troubleshooting my internet access; the line from the street is not working properly so they have to replace it. I have an appointment for my oil change.
I haven’t decorated for Christmas, if you ask I’ll tell you that it doesn’t make sense to make all that mess decorating when I’m trying to organize, purge and clean. It might be that it isn’t just that. I still don’t know how I feel about this house; the ambivalence remains. It isn’t that I look everywhere and see my old life – I think it’s more that there’s almost always only me here. Maybe it’s both. I’m trying to sort through that, as I sort through things…
I miss Jeff. We talk everyday, via text and phone and video chat, but it is a mediocre substitute for being face to face. We both try to keep busy to make the distance easier. I consider it a good thing that we miss each other. That doesn’t always happen in long-distance relationships.
We went on a short hike to a waterfall in October on a warm, sunny day. It was busy there, but we had fun. I prefer to just think on that…