Tomorrow I’m leaving California for home. I don’t want to, but I have to get back to restart things at home. I have been away almost four months, and in California for over a month. I don’t want to, but it’s time.
I’m not sure how it will feel to be back home. I am excited to see my friends and family. Excited to see my horse and my cat. Excited to see fall in one of the beautiful places in this country.
I feel more ambivalent about the house. It is beautiful, but it is too large for just me, and it is a lot to maintain. My ex-husband wanted a larger house after we married, but I miss the small home I owned when I was single. When we got divorced, it made financial sense to stay in my house, and I wasn’t emotionally in a space to pack everything up and move, but I have been thinking for a while about whether I want those memories there. I know it is time to make new ones.
Leaving California to go home also means leaving someone special to me. A month here has given me one of the things I have been missing most in life – love and affection. I won’t be cryptic – I found someone – or to be more accurate, he found me. I’ll introduce you in another post.
So tomorrow morning I’ll be back in the car for the long drive north. Sigh…