I think I have lost my mind. Jon and I decided that we ought to take a run at purchasing a larger home. Back when I was single, I purchased a 1200 square foot, 3 bedroom, 1 bath home. It was great for me. Enough space, great location near a nice trail in town, I could walk to lots of places, and it had been well taken care of over the years. And then I met Jon, and his stuff and my stuff collided. And now the little house that we love just doesn’t have quite enough space. Jon and I have been married for a little over a year, so it seemed time to upgrade. And that’s where the insanity strikes.
After we decided to try to purchase a new home, we started talking about the “how.” Our new home down-payment is wrapped up in the old home, so we have to sell our home first, or at the very least, have our home on the market. There is no longer any “we can buy a new home and sell ours quickly afterwards.” The climate in the real estate market has changed. So, we made the decision to throw caution to the wind, and put ours on the market. The big risk is that we would sell our home, and not have anything that we love to buy. This is hugely scary for me, because I have lived in my home for more than 8 years, and if it weren’t for the space issue, I wouldn’t be selling it, because I love it. If we sell our house first, and we don’t have one we like, where will we live? I don’t want to have to settle for a house I don’t love, just because I’m now homeless. It is a big dilemma….
We spent the last several weeks “decluttering.” Going through things we don’t need, getting rid of clothes that don’t fit me (at least they are too big!), doing several Goodwill trips and one to the dump, and packing up things for storage so the home looks spacious and minimalist. Because minimalist is what sells houses. But minimalist is not how I live my life. It has been exhausting, and I have not been so tired since I was in graduate school and frequently pulling all nighters. Days of heavy labor, non-stop stress and action, more trips to Lowe’s than I care to count, and then going to bed at night and not being able to sleep because I worry about what could go wrong. I go to work feeling like a zombie, but I can’t call out because that’s where I’m getting my only rest!
The other exhausting part about selling a house is that no buyer will tolerate the little quirks and idiosyncrasies of the home that you have put up with and not minded. You know the stuff – you all have it around your house too. The 43 year old dishwasher that still works great, but looks like a rusted out Buick in the kitchen, and has a heavy metal door that frequently takes skin off your husband’s shins because the spring in the door no longer works. Or the vertical blinds in the living room that are fuzzy at the bottom because you love your kitties, and they love looking out the window. Said vertical blinds don’t wash up because the slats are fabric. So, after a couple of weekends of sprucing and updating, it looks like a brand new home! Thanks mom and dad – we couldn’t have done it without you! And those people who are looking at it have no idea that you put your shoulder out while lying on the kitchen floor trying to plug two tiny three prong plugs together with one hand stuck under the dishwasher, not being able to see what you are doing because the f@#&ing electrical box is in the way. Or that you just about got a divorce because you almost lost your mind when your husband wanted to go play tennis while you were still spackling and painting the window sill where the vertical blinds left holes (sorry Jon…).
So, now that’s done…. My whole life is completely upended, I haven’t shaved my legs in two weeks, I have no idea where the tweezers are, and I really hope nobody wants to look in the third drawer down that contains dishtowels, a spackle knife, some miscellaneous screws, and who the heck knows what else. The upside is that I had a few minutes to watch the baby squirrels playing while I watered the plants after work… Maybe now that it is on the market, with a little Rx assistance, I can finally get some sleep! And hopefully I won’t set off my own car alarm again tomorrow morning!