Book Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died

I’m Glad My Mom Died, by Jennette McCurdy

I had never heard of Jennette McCurdy, but apparently she began her child acting career in the early 2000s, and is best known as the star of a Nickelodeon TV show.  Now, I’m of the generation that watched Nick at Nite, back when it aired reruns of Leave It To Beaver, Mr. Ed, and the Donna Reed Show.  I didn’t really watch later on when they were doing their own original programming, nor did I have children who would have watched.  So I (breathes a sigh of relief) stayed blissfully in the dark.

 

Unfortunately, since the dawn of Hollywood time, there have been child stars abused by studio executives, producers, directors and worst of all, their parents.  It seems to come with the territory, the parents who will stop at nothing to make their child a star.  Jennette’s mother was one of those…

Jennette grew up with an intact family, but sadly, her dad was kind of useless, and he never stood up to her mother against the inappropriate things that were going on.  She was also home schooled, so outside her nuclear family, Jennette never really had any adults looking out for her best interest.  So, from the age of six, Jennette was pushed into an acting career, with endless lessons in acting, singing and dancing, and auditions for shows.  When she finally broke through, Jennette became the breadwinner for the family, her parents, two brothers and grandparents. 

Jennette’s mother had clear expectations for her and her career, and her treatment of Jennette was abusive.  Not only the long hours on set…  Her mother taught her at the age of eleven how to calorie restrict, so she could stay thin for the camera.  Imagine a mother teaching her own daughter how to be anorexic? Imagine parents expecting their child to pay for their bills, their mortgage, their vehicles, and their groceries.  And even worse, her mother bathed her until we was almost an adult, claiming that Jennette couldn’t be trusted to wash her hair correctly.  During these shower sessions, her mother subjected her to bizarre bodily exams, telling her she was performing cancer screenings.  Jennette grew up with this being “normal.” 

When Jennette was a young adult, her mother’s breast cancer returned and she passed away.  The narcissistic, selfish, abusive matriarch of the family was finally gone.  Years of therapy has helped Jennette come to terms with the mother that she loved, and the mother who also abused her.  The book is a raw, tragic look at the impacts of the abuse, and Jennette’s lack of ability to live a normal life.  She continues to be controlled by bulimia and other impulsive behaviors.  She tells her story candidly, although she has said how difficult it was to tell her story.

What a heartbreaking story, and how terrible to grow up in a family where the death of your own mother is a relief.

3 stars. 

Note: Quiet on Set is a five part documentary released in 2024 that explores allegations of abuse of other child actors at Nickelodeon.  I have not seen it, but I’ve heard it is very good (and by good I mean disturbing).  Although she doesn’t speak much of Nickelodeon directly, some of Jennette’s comments in this book are widely believed to be about Dan Schneider, the abuser named in the documentary.