Clocking Time

One week from today I’ll be in the hospital, with a lovely new incision in my belly, on my way to recovery.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a little bit anxious.  I have to finish a lot this week to be ready.  One more week of work and things to wrap up before my leave of absence.  Presents to finish getting (almost done!) and wrapping (barely started!).  A bit more decorating, but only the minimum.  I need to finish the laundry (because I won’t be able to lift a basket), clean the house (I won’t be able to scrub or vacuum), and finish whatever other miscellaneous chores come with Christmas.

So a week from today I’ll be lying in my hospital bed, at the mercy of those wonderful nurses who will undoubtedly want to poke and prod me, and make me go walk around, when all I will probably really want to do is sleep.  I’ll be hungry and groggy from the anesthesia and having caffeine withdrawals and my skin will be itchy and dry because I couldn’t put on moisturizers after my shower the night before.  Not long after though, I will start feeling better, glad to not have the huge, dense masses in my belly, taking up all the space.

I know I will have to take it easy for a while, but that is just so hard for me!  I like being active, I like feeling productive!  I like being outside, even in the winter.  Hiking!  Snowshoeing!  Working in the yard!  But I’ll have to relax and chill out, so I don’t compromise my healing.  I’ll have more time to write, once I feel up to it.  And read!  And watch some movies!  Perhaps contemplate which tattoo to get on my scar when it heals…  I will have to focus on the quieter activities and make time for those.

And suddenly you just know… It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.  Meister Eckhart

Long House, Mesa Verde National Park, October 2018

I can do this!  Onward…