Building a Life

There was something I was avoiding.  After spending a wonderful Christmas holiday with Jon and his family, I spent a quiet weekend at home while Jon worked.  I finished a book I’d been reading.  I watched a movie.  I worked on this blog.  I did a bunch of laundry.  Yet, there was still something I wasn’t doing.  Something I couldn’t bring myself to do.  Last Sunday, I finally steeled myself for the unpleasant task.

Cleaning and packing my office.  Normally this task brings nothing but joy.  A new job, new challenges, new opportunities.  After all, I applied for this new job, and interviewed, and got the offer that I wanted.  So what was holding me back?

My coworkers.  Really they are my employees, but supervising them is such a breeze, and we are such a cohesive team, that I can’t bring myself to call them my employees.  And therein lies the rub.  I have built a life there.  A life that includes such fantastic women that I am grieving its end.  Even though I know that leaving them will bring advancement in my career, and all those things that we work so hard for.  Challenges, rewards, less stress, more recognition.  Gaining those things means leaving them, and that makes me so tremendously sad…

And so I avoided those moments all weekend – until I couldn’t put it off anymore.  Organizing files and folders and trying your hardest to get everything neatly laid out for the person who will take your place.  Recycling all those papers that seemed so pressing at the time, but long ago lost their importance (word to the wise – some problems really do solve themselves if you procrastinate long enough).  Those memories pinned to the corkboard, making you laugh out loud at the inside jokes and memories created over the years.  Taking down the artwork from the walls, and wrapping it up to wait for your next office.

I try to remind myself that I will still be in town; that we can get together anytime.  But there is something to be said for spending 40+ hours a week with a group of women who bring you so much laughter and joy.  Coworkers turned friends, who make the day fly by, who have your back on your darkest days.  Friends.  The ones who will be the first by your side when you truly need it.  The ones who encouraged you to apply for that new job, and literally yelled at you to accept that offer, even though your leaving would make their lives harder, at least in the short term.

I feel truly blessed for the friendships I have been given.  Goodbyes are hard, so at least this one is simply “until next time.”

Today was my last day at my old job, and I will start the new one after the New Year.  A few days off to decompress will be much needed.   I’m sure I will make new friends, but I feel fortunate that I will keep the old.  Happy New Year!

7 thoughts on “Building a Life

  1. You hit the nail on the head regarding the hard part of moving or changing jobs. It is leaving your friends, neighbors, and coworkers behind. We all promise to stay in touch, but the result is quite different. The good news is that the space gets filled with new friends and coworkers.

    What a great way to start a new year. Forge ahead.

    • Thank you for the kind words! In the earlier part of my career, I worked in departments of just 2 people, so being in a bigger department has allowed me to make some lasting friendships. Leaving that behind is the hardest part… But I am looking forward to the new year and the new job!

  2. Congratulations on this next step in your career, well timed for the new year! Transitions are bittersweet. Sounds like you would have been held accountable for staying where you ‘were’ had you declined this offer, excellent friends to have.

    • Thank you! It will be good! Yes, the transition has been hard so far, and it will take some getting used to to feel comfortable with the new job. But things have changed, and the time had come to make a move and we all recognized it. They were great about ‘encouraging’ me to see that I would be crazy not to take it.

  3. Pingback: Farewell 2014 – Say Hello to 2015! | Wine and History Visited

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